Living Consciously and Doing The Work

Here’s what I know:

I AM responsible for the landscape of my life.

And so are you.  We all ‘know’ this from an academic part of our brain, but I’m certain we don’t all take this to heart in the way that allows us to truly measure up to our potential.  Over the last 5 years or so I’ve lived far more consciously than I ever have in the past and I have never been happier and more fulfilled. Is life perfect?  Hell yes.  It’s perfectly imperfect.  In fact, perfect has a new meaning for me.  It doesn’t mean flawless.  It means wholeness.  That’s perfection. So yes, my life is perfect.  This still means I step up, challenge myself and strive for more.  It’s my personality and it feeds my soul.

What feeds your soul?

What lights you up?

What allows you to flirt with the idea of perfection?

I know many of us struggle with this and I’m going to offer you a challenge.  Instead of making yourself busy with the going-ons of your life, how about you ask yourself these questions every day for the next month.  Ask the universe to reveal more of who you really are.  Ask your soul what you truly need to be ‘perfect’.

I’m the HABITS and RITUALS girl and I can’t let a blog post go by without asking you to level up with yourself.  Want more? Ask more. Listen more. Appreciate more.  So here’s my top rituals that will help you live more soulfully, more self-aware and more lovingly within your true self.

1.Get up earlier. It just is. Stop getting cranky about it.  Go to bed earlier and carve out 20-30 minutes of time BEFORE the rest of your family and life erupts and find a place to BE in the space of your home.  Bonus points: make it inviting.  Candles, comfy chair, great pillow, cup of tea, fresh pressed java … whatever it takes.

2. Create intention around your day.  How do you want your day to go? How do you want your day to FEEL?  What do you want to manifest for yourself?  Don’t know? Ok, pick up your awesome blank-page journal you just invested in and start doodling.  Think of a time in your life when you FELT lighthearted and free, inspired and excited.  Write down the words that come to mind when you think of this time, all over the page and freestyle it. Don’t give me that face … trust me. Do this enough times and you will start to connect with that which brings you joy and when it becomes more clear, create an intention around your day that includes the very essence of how you want to feel in your life.

“Today I FEEL free.  I AM lighthearted.  I ATTRACT people and experiences to me that light me up and bring me joy.  I HAVE a sense of abundance. ”

You write the script.  There are no rights or wrongs.

3. Consider meditating.  YUP, I love me some guided meditation.  I’ve gone through times in my life where I sat quietly for 40-50 minutes at a time with my bolster and candle light. And I’ve also gone through times when my squirrel brain was on overdrive.  Currently I’m in a huge passion production mode and 10 minute guided meditations are perfect for me.  Don’t know where to start? Start here Downloadable Meditation Series.

4. Embody gratitude.  I know you know this…. but have you ever truly shown gratitude?  A good friend turned me on to this: The Five-Minute Journal.  Do you need a journal to show gratitude? OF COURSE NOT, but let’s face it.  Accountability works. What I love about this journal is … it’s truly 5 minutes or less and it doesn’t have a calendar of days in it.  It’s 365 days of journaling, but if you skip a day or miss a week … no worries, you just continue onwards.

The point of this is,

IF YOU REALLY WANT A DIFFERENT LIFE EXPERIENCE, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Far too often we yearn for something different.  We want a different life experience, but we want it to fall into our lives.  When we are living more consciously and more from our soul’s desires and needs, life becomes really simple and uncomplicated.  It’s less about things and more about experiences. It’s less about attainment and more about fulfilment.

One of the BEST things about soulful living is that you naturally starting living more in alignment with your higher self. You become incredibly attuned to your inner vibration and so does the universe.  People, experiences and opportunities start showing up in your life in ways that you  never imagined.  It’s PERFECT.  It’s wholeness.

But DON’T KID YOURSELF, you need to do THE WORK.  I know what you’re thinking, life shouldn’t be HARD WORK.  I didn’t say it had to be hard.  I simply said it’s work to live consciously.  In a day and age when our culture rewards being zoned out, busy and disconnected, it takes mindfulness to create time and space for expansion.  So yes, in a sense, it’s work.  It just won’t happen without intention.

Be honest with yourself and decide if you want more from your life. IF the answer is yes, start here and make these daily rituals (or something similar that resonates more with you) part of your life for the next 30 days … and then we’ll talk.

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You are deserving

xoxo DRF

Here’s to 2015 – No Regrets

I have always loved the transparency of blogging. I think we are all more alike than we are different and I have never felt overexposed or judged by posting any of my opinions or experiences. I haven’t blogged since last February. I have tried several times in the last 11 months – to no avail … until now.

Without disrespecting my family’s privacy, I will share that this last year has been huge for us. My husband and I separated and are in the process of divorce. As you can well imagine, the journey of deciding, voicing your decision, managing the logistics of separating a life of 16 years together and trying your best to not break your children’s hearts is … well, sad and difficult. In the end (or rather 10 months later), we are still amicable and figuring this out as we go. I’m not writing this because I actually feel the need to explain my life and certainly not because I think I’m some sort of divorce expert. Its because I think somewhere in there is a small gem worth sharing. This is not a blog of conscious uncoupling (oh please Gwyneth, …). And frankly, if you’re already bored, by all means move onwards. I won’t be offended. If you’re staying for the remainder of the blog, I’ll share this.

It really does suck. In a really big way. WAY more than I thought it would, quite frankly. I had to keep reminding myself that I created my life and even though I wasn’t responsible for anyone else’s actions, I still massively contributed to where I was at. It’s impossible not to. That meant that I couldn’t really blame anyone else (okay, I did a little bit – for a little while, but ultimately I had to step up and acknowledge to myself where I stopped short of my best self). We were fairly open with our kids (they are growing up, but they are still kids and don’t need to know the grown up details), but mostly we just loved the shit out of them. It seems to be working. Prior to our divorce, our home life was pretty typical of most and wasn’t filled with a lot of volatility or arguing, but kids are masters at reading the energy of an environment. By the way, kids KNOW – even when they don’t consciously realize it. We’d all be wise to remember that.

And now? I’m cautiously saying that I think our boys are happier, feel more loved, are more grateful for their lives and are more connected to both of us. And here’s my piece in this. I did it the most holistic way I knew how – for all 3 of us. We were adjusted … a lot (much love to Dr. Warner). I knew that we were needing more support on every level and I did what I knew best. I tried my best to keep their nervous system free from additional stress. We did a lot of homeopathy (Dr. Monica Frohmann & friends), essential oils (Young Living), reiki (Jodi Watson), emotional work for my boys (Mickey Eves & Deborah Johnson), exercise (daily), yoga often (it deserves its own shout out), great quality food, nutritional support (Jenn Pike & friends), acupuncture (recent),constant connection with the Earth (cottaging, hiking, swimming) and lots and lots of human touch (and yes, I’m proud of the fact that my 12 & 13 year old boys still want to cuddle).

For me, it involved all of that and the right to say yes to what feels right and no to what doesn’t. No explanation needed and often not given. I have let myself go to those really sad places when need be and I don’t feel bad about experiencing the joy … and frankly, sometimes it feels like I’m oscillating far too much between those 2 places. I’ve called upon my closest friends to remind me of what I know about myself and about life … and mostly I’ve tried to be as honest as I can with myself and my kids. Ah YES< I have heard some background noise from those that know of me, but don't truly know me and that too has reminded me that what others think of me is not my business. I have reminded myself that my divorce is unsettling for our loved ones/friends/family and sometimes their reaction and response (how horribly inappropriate at times … I have to laugh at a few recent memories), isn't really about me. Its because we all reflect on our own experiences and answer from a personal place. It really is okay.

In the end, many of us won't face divorce, but I assure you that you will face adversity. If I can share anything small I would say to trust that it will all turn out exactly the way it's supposed to. Love yourself with your whole heart. Let yourself be fallible. Be open to helping hands and loving hearts. Smile inwardly. Practice gratitude. Be open.

Here's to 2015.

With love,

xoxo DRF

Next up? A whole lot of my usual blogging about food, travel, Chiropractic, big life and big experiences. Thank god.

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Whatever You Think You Need To Do, Do The Opposite.



I did not go to India as a seeker.  It seems that many people do, and I can see why.  It has that vibrational energy that feels like being ‘present’ is the only way you could actually manage to exist there.  You either leave India with it deeply embedded in your soul or you leave India and you never come back – pretty sure there is no inbetween.  IMG_5121India has been on my proverbial ‘bucket list’ for well over a decade and there it remains.  I could never imagine going the rest of my life without a return trip to this magical place.  It was life changing, but not in the sense that I came home and I wanted to change anything.  I left India with the most immense amount of love for myself and for my life.

“Why do you laugh so much?”  

That’s what our tuk tuk driver said to us after we’d had several days worth of daily adventures with him as our driver.  “Pardon?”  “Why do you laugh so much with your friend?”  (insert blank look and a laugh from me) “I’m don’t know.  We aren’t laughing at you (so Canadian of me to say – wouldn’t want him to feel self conscious).  Life is fabulous, don’t you think?”  (insert blank look from him) “I guess”, he says.

What wasn’t there to laugh about? – especially in a tuk tuk!  If you looked out the front window you couldn’t shake that feeling that death was imminent (from a head on rickshaw crash … with a car/moped/motorbike or cow).  We quickly learned that left and right glances made for a much calmer ride.  Indian drivers are so peaceful (in a crazy, holy crap-I-think-I-might-die kind of way).  We are such freaks in North America. Whenever someone is too slow to turn, accidentally pulls in too close to you or makes some other traffic horror, we feel so slighted and enraged.  Its as if that person was put on this Earth to ruin your day.  Hilarious, really.  I guess when you share your country with 1.2 billion people you learn to let the little things go.  I brought that one back with me.

“Whatever you think you need to do, do the opposite.”  

I’m not sure if our yoga teacher adapted this saying from Paul Arden’s book “Whatever You Think, Think the Opposite”, but regardless, this became her message and our Indian experience.  Whatever we attempted to do, well … it was even better when India brought us a different experience.  Dominica and I ‘intended’ on going to India to yoga ourselves into “sculpted arms and svelte buttocks” and instead, we found ourselves barely standing on our yoga mats. WTF?  In fact, if you told us we’d go to India to do 3+ hours of daily yoga that mostly resembled simple asanas with straps/bolsters/breathing/breathing and more breathing, we’d probably would’ve said ‘no thank you’. That would’ve been a shame because we found out more about the inner workings of our mind, energy and body than we ever would’ve if we had ashtanga’d ourselves to death.  Turns out, my yoga practice has taken a giant step forward since returning home.  Apparently I’ve got to slow down?  (hmmm, is this a recurring theme or is it just me?).

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Don’t answer that.

While in India Dominica and I had MANY experiences with ayurvedic physicians, therapists, massage therapists and such … and all I can say is “wow” “amazing” “loved it”.  The MOST memorable award goes to my first Ayurvedic Massage experienced on Day 3 of my trip.  Thank God I had read this hilarious blog post before I went to India (http://dreamgolive.wordpress.com/2011/01/14/slip-sliding-away-in-wayanad-day-two/).  It’s her personal account of her first Ayurvedic massage. IF I hadn’t read this and kind of knew what I could possibly experience I might’ve left the room screaming, crying or laughing (or all 3).  I have to hand it to Dominica though.  When she emerged from her massage the day before mine all she simply and smugly said was, “It was great!  Can’t wait to talk to you about it after yours.”

To give you the short story, it was amazing/slightly horrifying (in a body conscious kind of way … IF I was to let my mind go there … which I don’t) and ‘enlightening’ – all in one.  Let’s just say that they don’t have the same kind of gowning procedures we have here in Canada.  Ok, that’s fine.  I can ignore the fact that I’m disrobing in front of the therapist (for this massage and for every other massage I had from any therapist in India, btw) and now I’m in my rather small skivvies without a sheet.  (I believe I reconciled it in my head with the thought, “when in Rome …”).

Anyhow, I settled into the chair while he (yes, HE) dropped warm oil all over my hair and head and began to massage it into particular points and areas of my cranium.  Oh, this is kind of nice.  It was.  Up until he smacked the crown of my head so hard my jaw rattled.  WTF?  Did that just happen?  OMG. 3 minutes down, 117 to go.  Shortly thereafter I made my way onto the table where at least 2 L of oil was placed all over my skin and I was rapidly thrown north … then south, slapped on my head, feet and shoulders and pressed with alarming specificity onto some point on the arch of my foot that made me want to haul off a swift kick to his head.  NOTE: I hope he doesn’t read this. He was actually really warm and ‘professional’ (by India standards, LOL).  But as a Canadian, it WAS an experience.  The piece de resistance was when I was then on my back (again sans sheet … which is probably a godsend since it was 40 degrees C), left tits up while he exited the room for a moment.  When he came back in wielding a hose I contemplated bolting, but figured Dominica would’ve warned me had there been anything I really needED to BE aware of (or at least that’s the story I told myself).  Turns out he just wanted to steam clean my body head-to-toe.  That’s normal, right?

I’m sure you wouldn’t actually believe me if I said it was kind of relaxing.  Maybe ‘relaxing’ isn’t the right word.  I think memorable and interesting would be more accurate.  When I swapped stories with some of my other comrades at the dinner table I soon realized that yes, indeed, this is typical of this type of massage and I wasn’t having a “Friends” moment (you remember when Joey sent Chandler to his tailor?)   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fANwTBK3Ylg

Not every experience with practitioners was quite so obscure, but it was extremely enlightening and reminded me yet again the infinite intelligence of the mind and body.  40 seconds into visiting the Ayurvedic Physician and have her feel my pulse she  proceeded to tell me EVERYTHING about myself that even I didn’t want to admit.  Damn girl – You Are GOOD!  All that from my pulse?  All of these  experiences (with health practitioners/fellow travellers and residents of India) gave me such an immense feeling of gratitude for every person I encountered along the way that reminded me of something I knew about myself – needed to be reminded about myself – invited me to discover about myself and above all, love about myself.

And did I mention we laughed our behinds off? (not sure why I’m feeling like I shouldn’t swear at this point.  I’m sorry mom)

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LOVE. THIS. GIRL.

 

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We ‘may’ have got a little silly at some point during the long trip there.
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9 Magical dogs that lived on the premises. Surrender was my favorite.
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We didn’t go for the beaches, but they were beautiful nonetheless.
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When was the last time you went away and felt like your money had buying power. LOVE that!
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At some point one of the dogs would join us in the yoga shala 🙂
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Our favorite morning ritual of masala chai on our verandah at 6:45 am before morning meditation. Mmmmmm
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The infamous Saturday Night Market did NOT disappoint.
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Love this pic of Dominica
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One must admire a woman sitting side saddle in her sari. One turn and I’d be ass over tea kettle.
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Love my new mala made from agate.
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Some of the fabulous women we met on our adventure. Totally and thoroughly enjoyed the pool. It. Was. So. Hot. *massive understatement*
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There is something about this photo that reminds me of how unbelievably wonderful this woman is.
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If nature could speak
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One of our yoga teachers. Somehow that description just doesn’t do her justice. Between Dharma Priya and Ishi, my yoga practice is forever changed.
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I think this dog was channeling my old dog Sidney (sniff). Would love to start every morning with this schedule. Somehow my version that begins at 5 am isn’t quite the same lol.
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Sunrise
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Sunset – Full moon.

 

There is no way I could begin to explain our experience.  I’ll leave it at this (as I’m sure your eyes are already glazed over).  I am so grateful and thankful to my husband and kids who so graciously made it easy for me.  I’m always thankful to my amazing friends and coworkers who step up and support my home, my family and my practice whenever I leave.  This time, I am mostly grateful for my girlfriend Dominica.  I have watched this woman grab onto life with such passion and elegance.  For those of you who haven’t heard me speak of her, we have been friends for well over 25 years and in those years we’ve watched each other grow up, graduate, marry, divorce, marry again ( … that was me), have kids, have cancer (… that was her) and live life full out.  Just like I told the tuk tuk driver – LIFE IS FABULOUS.

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Namaste, xoxo

love DRF

Unleash Your Potential – Tony Robbins Style

I am adamant about spending time CREATING my life.  It’s as exciting to me as anything I’ve ever done.  I constantly think about how my littlest actions, predominant thoughts and niggling worries affect my ability to move closer to or further away from what I want.  EVERY day I spend time being über conscious of my affirmations, actions and interactions. Call me strange, but I actually find it kind of fun.

Life is based on energy and vibration.  When I spend time with people who are vibrating at my level or above I rise up.  When I don’t … well, you get it.  Every once in a while I enroll myself in an event or process that catapults me ahead.  We just spent the last four days hanging out with Tony Robbins and his phenomenal team at Unleash Your Potential Within.  50 hours, digging deep, listening hard & asking yourself the questions that need to be asked IF you want to create YOUR ultimate existence.  Oh, and you do a firewalk.

 

I’ve been to this event before with my husband.  It was the BEST investment in US we’ve ever done.  Bar none.  Hands down. No discussion.

 

I decided I wanted to raise the bar even higher and edge skyward, but first I needed to back up and grab my kids.  They needed to be part of this journey.  Sure, they’d be incredibly influenced and forever changed by our new intentioned way of living and interacting.  In fact, they have been – I’ve watched how we’ve ‘shifted’ things since we went to UPW.  I still felt it wasn’t the same thing as them going too.  You might ask yourself, what would 10 & 11 year old boys gain from an adult oriented program?  Great question.  I wish I could answer that for you.  I have no friggin idea what they gained BUT I do know that they aren’t the same people who walked into that seminar 4 days ago.  They listened and sat and jumped and laughed and thought and set goals and asked themselves questions.  They interacted with each other, us, our friends and other human BE-ings who are all there just to create a greater life existence.  My eleven year old even rolled up his pants and marched across 2000 degree coals and gave himself a giant internal high five.  What will this event mean for us as a family?  To steal a line from Mastercard – its priceless.

 

Tony Robbins aside (and btw, if you’re thinking “isn’t that the dude from the infomercials in the 80’s?” YES< it is.  Unless you’ve been, don’t judge.  I am certain that he has something to teach you – in a big way), above all it was an energetic investment in us as individuals and us as a family.  I’m beyond proud of us.  We kicked serious ass.

 

Here’s the way I look at it.  Go to Tony Robbins.  Don’t go to Tony Robbins.  It really isn’t about him or his program.  It’s about making your dreams come true. That’s not always easy.  In fact, sometimes you need a major shift in your trajectory and sometimes you need to heal some limiting thoughts and beliefs about yourself.  Only you know what resonates with you.  Lead with your gut and make it happen.

 

You deserve a big juicy life.

xo DRF

The WHY Behind drlaurafoster.blogspot.com

If you know me already,  you know this, I’ve got a lot to say.  The awesome thing about the internet is this: if you aren’t digging what I’m saying, you can delete me in a nanosecond.  If you choose to stay then please comment, interact and be inspired (or at the very least,  informed).

I already have a blog @ http://www.fosterchiropractic.com/blog   .  It represents my Chiropractic passion.  This is the place where I’ve been fortunate enough to serve the BE-ings of my community for the last 16 years.  SOMEtimes I’m not sure my blog posts are 100% appropriate for my Chiropractic life.  For example, if you are checking out my clinic site and you randomly land on our blog and happen to read a enthusiastic rant from me, what context will you have to realize that I’m really a lot more balanced than I may appear in that moment.  It’s true – I think about these things.

Regardless of my reasons, here I am.  If inclined, check back often for my view on a variety of items 100% related to BEING YOUR BEST YOU.  Seriously, it’s that simple.  In the meantime, MAKE yourself a fabulous day.  xo DRF